16. Styx Flow

The pious paralleled paraclete partners propelled purposely piercing themselves through the pines on the distant bank of the Charles gliding just a wing flap above the river’s slight downstream ripples. In perfect syncopation suddenly one, then, just as quickly, the second secured himself together with the first one on a branch to take a breath before jetting upward again towards the sky and some unspoken destination. Meanwhile a solo pilgrim Canadian goose floats carefree and effortlessly with the river’s current just as another splashes behind and then another. Suddenly the three are joined in collaborative coasting letting the river take them to wherever. They are unconcerned as scullers redirect their sleek vessels to avoid collisions with the feathered floaters. As if guided by some greater hand the geese glide to shallow eddies away from the waterway’s human traffic. They are safe and they just are.

 

Jake watches wondering how the two unworried birds had decided to fly in formation and became concerned about what interior spiritual force intuits the geese and the birds to be companions on their journeys.

 

“Were the journeys of these creatures always mutual?”

 

For a moment he is lost in the peace of the flow of everything.

The solace unintentionally dissipates with Sundance’s voice

 

“Well, since Isabella is off to study and we are left to our own devices, let’s find a famous Bean Town watering hole to quench our spirits before we secure a seat at the Feliciano concert.”

 

Startled but alert Jake chimes

 

“I’ll drink to that!”

 

Isabella carefully gathered her things

 

“Jake, you will drink to everything”

 

as she touches Sundance’s hand and pecking Jake’s cheek with her lips.

 

“and call me when you either get out of the concert or get settled at Diana’s place. There may be another demonstration at the commons today and I might not be in my dorm room.”

 

Concerned, Jake peered into Isabella’s eyes.

 

“ Oh don’t worry ya big silly. We have been having daily bomb scares in the building and some suggested it is just a hoax to get students out onto the streets and hopefully involved with the anti-war demonstrations. Everyday there seems to be a new group sponsoring a new demonstration against he war. I guess they figured that when students don’t have their dorms or classes to go to because of bomb threats in the school buildings the students will join the party”

 

Sundance asked

 

“The Communist Party?”

 

Frankly, Isabella was surprised by Sundance’s naïveté’ and she chided him

 

“No, the party in the streets. The demonstrations have become street festivals for most part. Of course you have the SDS’ers and the weathermen and Panthers and a few sympathizers but most folks I know go for the joints and beer. The radicals smoke dope and drink just as much as the tagalongs. Abbie and his yippies made this whole thing into some perverse circus. Before you know it you can have twenty to thirty thousand students in the streets chanting ‘Peace now.’ But the college administrators got wise and now if they get a bomb threat they don’t have mandatory evacuations and just let the students decide. When given a choice most of us usually decide to stick together. ”

 

Anxiously Jake glanced up and down at Isabella

 

“I know I am a loner of sorts but I’m no fool on a hill. It is great to get out of class. The professors usually leave too.  Howard Zinn is usually leading the parade. It is also a good way to get out from sleeping in those prison walled halls called a dormitory. So don’t be surprised if you see a large group marching down Mass Ave this afternoon or if you call me at the dorm I don’t answer.”

 

”So what’ll we do?”

 

“You worry too much. We will work it out. We always find a way.”

 

Jake tauntingly sang

 

“Well… just show me the way to the next whiskey bar….oh don’t ask why, oh don’t ask why!”

 

Sundance pulled on Jake’s arm.

 

“Now don’t sing that. Come on.”

 

The shadows of the two boys quickly disappeared over the knolls that bordered the Back Bay and the river.  Isabella quietly relocated herself almost unseen to a shady spot on the grassy banks with her blanket and books to keep her company.

 

Sundance turned to Jake as both were lighting another smoke.

 

“So, you know where we are going? We driving or walking or what?”

 

“Sure I do. Driving by the way.”

 

Sundance was concerned about the immediacy and truthfulness of the response. They jumped into Black Beauty headed somewhere closer to the concert hall. Like a bolt of lightening they had darted down the road for two blocks faster than the speed of light until the traffic in front of them forced them to a dead halt.

 

Sundance smiled that smile of relief…

 

“Bet you it’s a demonstration. We should go “

 

Sundance encouraged Jake further by pointing out a place to park.

 

“That spot has your name on it. Claim it now!”

 

Jake squeezed their over sized vessel into the vacant space and with no further words they laughed as they ran to see where the action was. Finally within a short run from where they stopped they saw a crowd gathered. Pushing and squirming their way to the front to see where the action was the bystanders stared at Jake as he yelled out

 

“Peace Now! Peace Now!”

 

As the two overexcited revolutionaries – in-training gradually worked their way further to the front of the crowd they heard the screeching blaring siren of some emergency vehicle weaving in an out of the jammed in traffic and congregating crowds.  Speechless and shocked they finally saw what everyone was looking at and stared at what looked like to be a body covered in a white sheet lying next to a smoking taxi cab that was sitting upside down with it’s roof half crushed in.

 

Sundance just pulled on the uncomfortable embarrassed Jake

“Come on let’s get outta here and find a bar quick and have a drink.”

 

Both boys were running on empty, emotionally and physically, and they needed refueling quickly if they were to make it through the night. Jake shifted to a thought about looking to find a bar he and Isabella liked somewhere near Fenway Park but he had no idea where he and Sundance were in relation to Fenway Park or to anywhere. They were officially lost. So to deflect from his own anxiety Jake asked

 

“ Hey did we ever get Kerouac’s or Salinger’s address?”

 

Sundance didn’t want to deal with any of that now. .

 

“Hey, there’s a pub or something over across the street. Maybe we can talk about that there”

 

“How do we know if it is any good?”

 

“Well, if it has beer it’s good and if it has burgers too it’s perfect.”

 

No more discussion needed as they entered the pub securing two seats side by side at the bar. Jake signaled the bartender for two beers and said

 

“Almost perfect and I am paying!”

 

“Hey!”

 

Sundance couldn’t complete his protestation. Jake forcefully held his companion’s hand as it reached for his own pocket. Sundance was always gracious and giving. He seemed to be an endless well of compassion and generosity. Sometimes that annoyed Jake but at the same time he was grateful to have a friend such as Sundance.

 

“Look, I am paying and that’s that. You always pay and you have done too much for me. So let me pay for tonight’s drinks. Just get a couple of beers and start a tab while I find the men’s room.”

 

Sundance was taken aback with Jake’s adamancy and comments and ordered two pints of Guinness just the same. He was confused as to why Jake thought he owed Sundance anything. On Jake’s faster than normal return from the men’s room Jake put his arm around Sundance leaning to whisper in his ear. Physical contact was not one of Sundance’s favorite ways of connecting with another human, especially a man. Jake knew that but did it anyway. Social scientists say we have 18 inches of personal space. Jake was good at intruding on that barrier as both Isabella and Sundance would often testify. Wriggling away from Jake, Sundance heard him say

 

“Listen, if anyone asks” Jake spoke almost inaudibly, “you are my date.”

 

Not being one who showed emotion easily Sundance changed all that as his eyes bulged out like some cartoon character completely befuddled by Jake’s comment as Jake continued

 

“Have you noticed anything unusual about this bar?”

 

Sundance ‘s first reaction was to look at the beer keg taps. Maybe they had an unusual selection of beers. No, that wasn’t it. He then scanned the prices, …standard. The menu….normal . He then looked carefully at the ambiance, typical dark dingy dive.

 

“It is a bar. It has a jukebox. The music is loud”

 

Sundance had difficulty speaking above the loud music.

 

(…“Me and you, you and me, no matter how they tossed the dice, it had to be…” blasted echoing bouncing throughout the poor acoustics of the half-lit beer odored room.)

 

“Now look at who is dancing to the music! But don’t stare, just casually look up.”

 

Sundance lifted his dark pint glass and moved his eyes to try to sneak a peek at what Jake was seemingly anxious about.

 

“Oh, they are men and a few boys dancing with each other!”

 

Jake, leaning in closer as if to snuggle to Sundance whispered

 “Yeh, this is a gay bar. If anyone asks me to dance I am going to tell them I am with you.”

 

“Well, what if they ask me to dance?”

 

“You can dance with them if you like then!”

 

Uncomfortable but thirsty and tired they agreed without speaking that they would sit and rest for a while and chug two pints before making their exit. Clinking glasses like two pilgrims on some half-baked crusade

 

Sundance elevating his drink

 

“Per ipsum et cum ipso et in ipso est tibi Deo Patri omnipotenti in unitate Spiritus Sancti omnis honor et gloria per omnia saecula saeculorum”

 

Jake’s response

 

“Amen, brother”

 

Jake cracked that crooked worrying smile as he couldn’t shake that uneasy feeling about what he would really say if anyone there would approach him to dance. He finally stopped his mental meandering and silently finished his drink.

 

Dipping their fore fingers into what stout remained in their glasses they both blessed themselves as they made their escape from the bar.

 

Jake laughed

 

“That was close”

 

Getting to be adept at stumbling they accidentally stumbled their way to the concert hall only to see a “Sold Out” sign plastered across the poster on the face of Jose Feliciano. Sundance pulled out his last two cigarettes in resignation, giving one to Jake and offered up a solution

 

“If we can find where you parked let’s just head out to Diana’s place.”

 

Sometimes it is good to go with the flow and sometimes it is good to stay put and sometimes it is good to retreat .The interventions of angels continued their surprises as the boys found the car with very little effort and the boys flew as fast as they could on the road that followed along the river back upstream.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

15. A Kairos Wrinkle

 “Real or not here I come."

                            J. Niebo

 

The survey says that there are a number of road maps in prose and poetic form that seem to be required to fill the closeted rooms of spiritual spelunkers. Jake often worried that a few selected probably banned in Boston texts in his private library would get him locked up with Patrick McMurphy as a roommate in some long lost institution.  Jake was careful to hide these selected books with his marble coated journals. He wasn’t sure if these peculiar writings of others were providing insight or a waste of burning candlelight. The Beatle boot box was just the right size for securing this collection and he covered it up in the crawl space where he once trapped a squirrel. Every once in a while he checked in on them as a father would check a sleeping child. The Interpretations of Dreams; Being and Nothingness; and The Marriage of Heaven and Hell were hidden under a separate layer of newspaper in the box. He hidden these as a preteen would hide Playboy magazines from his parents, hidden but quickly to access when feeling alone. Of course he had other books some were semi-secrets and others his trophies, standing obvious and proud for anyone who wanted to see. Sundance was never concerned about such things and his complete library was open and obvious to everyone. Jake wondered about how many secrets Sundance had not shared.

 

“Everyone has secrets”

 

Naturally articles about Timothy Leary’s Harvard Project popularity supplemented both boys’ collections, as the reports seemed to be the sugar cube sweetener for their self-investigatory plunges. Attempting to replicate Alice’s sojourn down the Rabbit hole became a desired pursuit for Jake and Sundance. While Grace’s incantation was necessary for Sundance to take the leap all Jake needed to do was to close his eyes.

 

 

 

Sundance called out

 

“Jake hurry quick they need you!”

 

“What? Who? What?”

 

“They need you!”

 

Jake continued to fumble his sweaty fingers over the worn marks and numbers on his combination Master Lock.

 

“ I can’t remember! I can’t remember!”

 

Sundance now went to grab Jake.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Jake still frustratingly furiously fumbling with the combination lock,

 

“ I can’t remember the combination! How am I ever going to get this lock opened? How will I ever get into my locker again? I need to get in there!”

 

All Jake could see was Sundance, the lock and the box-like locker.

 

Sundance was completely befuddled

 

“What’s so important in there?”

 

“I am not sure what’s in there. I think I left my books, my poetry in there!”

 

Sundance laughed

 

“Who do you think you are, Paul Simon?”

 

“I don’t know who I am.”

 

Sundance began to boil and now annoyed yanked on Jake and started to lead him down the hallway.

 

“Look you have people who need you now! So let’s get your guitar and get you onstage.”

 

It didn’t take Jake long to get completely confused. He had no idea what Sundance was talking about or where they were going. Sundance explained as he dragged Jake that there was a band onstage that needed another guitarist to complete the group so they could play for the gathered audience.

 

Jake protested

 

“What stage? Where? Who? Why? I don’t have a guitar with me!”

 

 The next thing Jake knew was that some dark dressed stranger was strapping a Guild electric around Jake’s neck, plugging it in to an amp and pushing him onto a stage. The other faceless musicians onstage pointed to the microphone as one shouted out to Jake

 

“Twist and Shout in C”

 

“Am I singing lead? Am I playing lead? Who’s counting off? Wait I can’t sing it in C!” “

 

One of the musicians lifted his head from the dials on the control panel of his amplifier and carefully walked over to Jake. He looked just like George Harrison! It was George Harrison!

 

George leaned to Jake’s ear and whispered

 

“ Don’t worry. Just Play and enjoy yourself.”

 

George turned to the band and started in an authoritative Liverpudlian drawl, counting off ….

 

“One, Two, One, two, three, four….”

 

 

 

“ Jake! Jake! Wake up Jake! Jake!”

 

Jake felt a rough physical shoving this way and that with intermittent slaps on the face. He finally opened his eyes. There was Sundance’s nose almost touching his own as Sundance shouted

 

“Jake! Are you ok? “

 

Isabella was standing over Sundance half worried and half annoyed as she thought that this was a typical stunt by Jake. She screamed

 

“Are you on something? You know did you take some little pill or something?”

 

Jake gradually started to gain back his senses, though he really wanted to get back to playing in the band with George Harrison, opened his cotton-dried mouth,

 

“Nah, I think I just fell asleep and got lost.”

 

Sundance sat Jake up and asked if Jake could remember their names.

Jake paused, smiled a smile of success and satisfaction

 

“Isabella, Jake and George!”

 

He didn’t tell them about the dream. He really wanted to get back to playing music in the dream with George and the band.

 

Sundance and Isabella stared at each other. They didn’t know whether to call for an ambulance or laugh! Sundance began to laugh. Jake remained in his state of in and out of present consciousness. But that was normal for him. Sundance and Isabella continued their conversation, as Jake remained on his quiet private sojourn downstream.

 

Isabella smiled as she finally gave Sundance that “good cup of coffee” that Sundance had requested before Isabella had departed the two boys earlier.

 

“So what did you guys decide to do?

 

Sundance told Isabella

 

“Well, we decided that no decision is a decision! So you could say our eventual decision was default. ”

 

He continued to explain about how he and Jake had come to the somewhat half-hearted conclusion to call Jake’s old neighbor, Diana, to secure a place to crash for the night. They called her and Diana was surprisingly delighted with the call and prospect of having guests. Besides Sundance is the one who spoke with her and she sounded attractive. Sundance gently pulled Isabella aside

 

“We will need directions to Diana’s place in Somerville. You know Jake, he refused to let me ask Diana for directions when I spoke with her. He said she lives somewhere near Cambridge and that since he was able to find Fairfield he could find her place!”

 

Isabella giggled quietly

 

“No problem it is easy from here. You won’t even need a map.”

 

Satisfied, Sundance went on to share how and Jake had thought of going to Symphony Hall to see if they could get tickets for the Jose Feliciano concert that evening. Sundance described how it took some real negotiating and bribery to convince Jake to sit through a Feliciano concert. Just as Sundance was about to mention the invitation for Isabella to join them she interrupted

 

“ I need to study, really! I need to get an A in this next exam!”

 

Jake was good at pretending that he didn’t hear any of this conversation, and wondered privately what ever happened to visiting Kerouac and Salinger? He didn’t recall any of what Sundance was talking about. Was Sundance making all this up to get what he wanted out of this trip? He asked himself

 

“What did I win in the negotiation with Sundance?”

 

Silently scrounging his synapses he wondered if this was all a dream. Jake tried to focus on his watch and saw that it was now almost three in the afternoon. He concluded

 

“Time moves regardless of one’s state of mind or point of view and moves much faster than the The Charles’ lumbering current. 

But everything moves faster than the River Charles.”

 

The last glance Jake had made at his watch the time was not quite nine am. He had lost a few hours. He shook is head as if to loosen it up to recall what else he may have lost.

 

The universe was in its continued state of movement and expansion while Jake had remained still and silent for hours .For the first time in a long time Jake was trying to stop worrying about waiting or trying to remember things like the combination to his lock. Then, just for that moment he just was completely present….

 

Enlightenment sometimes happens with the blink of an eye…. Jake swiftly stood up with arms stretched out wide.

He sang out

 

“ two – twenty five – forty three “

 

It was George Harrison’s birthday, five years before his own! The numbers to the secret combination of the lock!

 

He continued

 

“Illumination!”

 

Excuses quickly evaporated realizing that sooner or later the lock would need to be opened.