Friday, August 24, 2012
17. Prometheus Unwound
The wind blew in from north, south and west all at once on
one unusual day in the spring of 1966.
Things would not be the same. Jake would never forget that time, that
year when he was shaken free. Completing anxious research for his tryout for
the high school debating team he came across a number different reports of
Vietnamese Buddhist monks self immolating in protest of the war in their
country. The black and white photo on the cover of some national magazine of a
monk sitting and burning in furious flames was an image that burned like a
branding iron on Jake’s heart. He could almost feel the heat himself. He vaguely
recalled how Jesus was quoted as saying something like “the greatest love is to
give up one’s for his friend” and he had heard of heroic acts of soldiers and
firemen who sacrificed their lives to save another. But, this was the first
time where he had read of and seen individuals who would cover themselves in
gasoline sacrificing themselves in a protest against war and as an act of
desperate love to implore others that peace and love were the only ways to exist
in this world.
In one of those random but not so random acts Father Adolph
had assigned Jake to lead the “anti war” team and Sundance the “pro-war “ team
in their Oxford style debate. After the debate Sundance grabbed Jake by the arm
into the hallway
“What the fuck was that all about? Since when did you get
so compassionate about pacificism? You don’t care that much about anything
except beer, music and Mary Lou!!!”
Mary Lou had Jake preoccupied a lot lately.
“ And. And, how dare you call me Mr. Cassidy, you smug
bastard!”
Jake didn’t feel like he wanted or needed to explain
anything about what he had learned in his research readings from famous
catholic writers like Thomas Merton, Dorothy Day and Daniel Berrigan.
“The Wanderers will think I am weird if they knew what I
was reading.”
His quasi-insecurity restricted him from mentioning
anything about how the picture of the burning monk or the stories of these
monks had shook his core. He even tried to deny and ignore his own feelings.
Earlier that week Sundance had casually mentioned that he
would be the captain of the “pro-war team “ in the debate team tryouts Jake’s spirit
became fired up… with a blend of excitement and anxiety. He knew Jake could
never win. His friend, Sundance, diligent, bright, gifted and articulate. Jake’s
mouth usually loose and fast would be tested. He accepted the challenge as a
personal task to see if he could at least hold his own in a structured debate against his long time friend. Jake was uncomfortable with structures of any kind. Though after the tryouts his stomach still
churned upside down and inside out in the end he felt he didn’t do half badly
in the war of wits…. and maybe that upset Sundance just a little. Father Adolph
refused to share the score by the other judges, one who was a teacher who had
mentored Jake just a little in preparation for the event.
Al and Billy just happened to pass Sundance and Jake in the
hall after the verbal skirmish and in unison each raised their two fingers on
one hand in a “V” - saying
“Peace.”
Jake gave that almost tight lipped half-smile
“Peace to you too”
Sundance just shook his head and walked away and Jake darted
quickly into the boys room before jumping into Black Beauty to find Mary Lou.
So in the stepping up to the Cambridge brownstone duplex
door Jake didn’t realize that this arriving at Diana’s place years after that debate
that he would be investigating what happened to him after the day the wind
shook him free.
“ Oh my god. Jake, it is so good to see you. Who is this
handsome fellow you brought over for me? Is he a gift?”
That was Diana for you.
“Yeh , he’s a gift alright.”
The fair-skinned Sundance wasn’t aware how much he blushed.
He pretended not to hear a word of their exchange.
“Pleased to meet you. Jake has said so many nice things about
you.”
Sundance laughed….
“Of course he has. He knows I would kill him if he said
anything different.”
Diana quipped
“Now that’s what I call a friendship.”
Diana had trained herself to be the perfect hostess. It was
a goal of sorts. She had a specific goal in attending Harvard Law School. She
had no intention to follow in the footsteps of famous female jurists but rather
to meet some US Senator to be. She would never marry a congressman or lobbyist.
“God forbid!”
Her desire was to secure a place within the DC beltway
and be that perfect hostess entertaining international dignitaries while
holding her own in political and legal conversations.
After the boys settled down and cracked open the beer and
the Jack Daniels Diana ran off to the bedroom and returned with a medium
football sized ball of aluminum foil.
“Come here guys”
They sat in a circle on her faux Chinese rug as she
religiously ceremoniously carefully folded back the sides of the ball to expose
the inner communal gift.
“Holy shit! Is that all pure grass?”
Sundance murmured.
Diana retrieved an ole burned lipstick tainted corncob pipe
and added
“And it is the best appetizer to accompany Jack.”
For a moment Jake was a little skittish as he thought she
meant him but she explained she was speaking about the bourbon not him. Their
contemplative atmosphere of focused solitudinal silence was disrupted only slightly with
the ringing of her doorbell.
“Oh that’s probably Isabella. I said she could study hear
if she wanted.”
Jake choked on the smoke that filled his mouth and lungs
exploding out the smoke and sputum around the room and grabbed the Jack out of
Sundance’s hand taking an enormous priest-guzzling gulp.
“Really? Isabella’s hear, now?”
He jumped like a worried half trained puppy to get the door
and kissed Isabella as she squeezed by him through the doorway as she said
“You know I have to study and no funny business!”
“What? Well, I have to work on my petition to the draft
board to approved as a “CO” (conscientious objector.)”
Jake just grabbed that one out of the air as quick as he
could. He had procrastinated for weeks on crafting and submitting petition that
was due within the next two weeks. He had rationalized that he didn’t need to
prove to anyone that he was a pacifist but the reality was that the Department
of Selective Service of the United States government required a little more
evidence than just Jake’s word. Of course Jake wasn’t too keen at putting his
short life on the line for some politician’s desire to prove that the United
States would beat the shit out of any country that questioned it’s world
dominance. So it was either heading for Canada or fighting authority. He always
preferred the battles with authority.
Diana exhaled a great blow squeaking
“That is so cool, Jake. I can help you write it. I am on
the law Review and am used to writing briefs where one is trying to build and
prove a case! We’ll need more Jack and beer then!”
She fell backwards laughing and the ever-courteous Sundance helped
her sit upright again.
“Thank you, you are such a sweet gentleman.”
There was that Cassidy cool blood boiling flowing to
Sundance’s cheeks again…bright red! He was smitten a little by Diana’s tantalizing
teasing and surprised that Jake had taken this anti-war pacifist notion to such
an extreme. He didn’t want to say anything too complimentary to Jake yet and
wanted to hear what Jake had to say about his views before Sundance would pass
judgment or accept the fact that Jake was genuine about this. Actually,
Sundance was smugly thinking
“I can’t wait
to hear this fable!”
They all found their positions: Isabella on the couch with
text and notebooks in hand; Sundance on his back placing the stereo’s speakers
on both sides of his head listening to Dylan’s Rainy Day Women; Diana snuggled
next to Jake with yellow legal pad and pen, and Jake of course drifting again
watching the four gold fish circling each other locked in a world of their own
in the bowl on the coffee table not making any progress.
Diana bubbled up
“Ok let me interview you Jake and then you can build your
letter to the draft board around the responses to my queries.”
“What? Huh? Oh yeah”
Isabella tried to focus on her studies but couldn’t help
but to shake her head.
Diana probed forward and not looking up from her pad she
began
“So, when did you first realize that you might have
pacifist tendencies?”
“ Well, ya know, I uh. I guess it all started being brought
up Catholic. I mean I used to think about how Jesus is never quoted as saying
“let’s kick the shit out of those folks” or “Let’s kill those Romans or Samaritans.”
“Ok, let me put it another way, when did you first feel
that war and killing was wrong?”
Jake rambled on about the high school debate about the war
in Vietnam, the readings he had done to prepare for the debate and how the
self- immolation and sacrifice of the Buddhist monk moved him into another
frame of mind about violence and war. He admitted that he was an angry person
and how in the past and even sometimes now he was quickly tempted to use
physical violence to protect himself or others. But it seemed that he had a
semblance of sincerity as he elaborated about how he didn’t like that side of
himself or others who acted in a similar fashion.
Sundance was now in the middle of “Ballad of a Thin Man” by
Dylan as he opened his eyes, lifted his head and interrupted Jake.
“Oh, please!”
and he quickly returned back to the floor and the music.
Diana curious and writing not looking up continued
“But is their an event or person who may have influenced
you more than any other?”
Jake explained that in a Russian Literature class he wrote
a paper on how the writings of Thoreau influenced Tolstoy and Tolstoy’s writing
left an impression on Gandhi and subsequently Gandhi’s writings and actions
influenced Martin Luther King’s approach to non-violent protest and anti-war
activity.
“Yeh, but that’s academic but is there any one incident or
major influence?”
Jake paused… and paused, took a sip of Jack Daniels and
paused some more.
“Well, when I first arrived at Fairleigh Dickinson
University at the Madison campus I nervously stood on line to register for
classes. There I met this older woman, Dr. Weingarten. I had no idea who she was.
All I knew was that she was assigned as my academic advisor. As I sat down to
begin our conversation about class selection she said ‘ so tell me Jake what
are you about? Who are you and what do you want to contribute to society while
your alive?’ I was beside myself. I couldn’t answer her. I was speechless”
Both Isabella and Sundance interrupted simultaneously and
in harmony
“Now, that’s hard to believe”
and they returned to what they were doing.
“She then frightened the beegeebees out of me by suggesting
that I take Calculus explaining that if I could learn that I could learn
anything. I told her that I was afraid that if that’s the case I might not be
able to learn anything. She asked if my grades in History were accurate, they
were always A’s and if my SAT score on the special History SAT was accurate, it
was almost 700. I told her they were and I had planned at that point to be a
History Major. When I was done with her filling out this form I had noticed
that she signed me up for a course she was teaching ‘The Anthropology of War.’ I
had no clue about what that meant or who she was but at that point I figured
‘what the hell!’
When I bought the textbook for that Anthropology course I
read the author’s autobiography, it was Dr. Weingarten! Actually she had been a
famous anthropologist, women’s rights advocate from the 1930’s and a peace
advocate who was not granted tenure at Columbia because of her anti-war
activities in the 1940’s.
In the beginning of that text book ‘Anthropology of War and
Hate’ were some of Dr. Weingarten’s opening remarks at the conference on The
Art and Science of Living in a Peaceful Society held in Montreal around 1939 or
so. If I can recall it went
something like ‘War and violence
have always been about control; control of land, control of purse strings and
of course control of how and what people think and feel. Blah blah, …Consider
how those who desire this control become out of control with their propensity
for violence against others when they perceive that they have lost control or
their control is threatened.’ Blah and blah…you know. Well, Meeting her and
having her as a professor changed my outlook on why wars and violence happen
and how we need to try and stop …war and violence I mean. I guess I had been
ready to hear the news and begin to soak in what I had read just a year or two
earlier in high school.”
“Wow, I think I have read some of her stuff. She is one of
the primary movers of the original women’s movement back in the early 1900’s.
But we are still on the academic side of things here.”
Diana had ceased her faux calligraphic writing as she
listened to Jake.
“Let me continue…. and just a year later Dr. G assigned my
English class to read ‘Johnny Got His Gun ‘ by Dalton Trumbo, a novel I will
never forget and then there were the Aristides husband and wife professors who
were also dismissed from Columbia for their anti war activities who taught a
class I took on “famous Pacifist writers”, and by coincidence, if you believe
in coincidences, my ole high school buddy Billy invited me on a pilgrimage to
my first peace rally at St. Peters College where Daniel Berrigan the Jesuit
radical priest, who’s writings I read years earlier , spoke and …”
Diana turned a little nasty for a moment
“Ok, Ok…let’s take a break and think about your formation
as pacifist. But before we do I wanna know if you are such a pacifist why are
you wearing a POW bracelet?”
“ Well it has the name of Lt Fleming J. Baumer who is
actually missing in action transport pilot who was shot down over Laos in ’67
on his way to deliver food and medical supplies to the Tom Dooley Foundation
for Refugees. Too many people have sacrificed too much just so a few can
protect their economic-political-religious interests. I didn’t see anyone
coming to the aid of the Dalai Lama and Buddhists when the Chinese invaded
Tibet or …”
“Ok ,Ok…she gets it “
Isabella had heard all this before and had to stop the two-hour
tried and true repeated speech on the nature of poverty, racism and war in the world.
Diana jumped to her feet grabbing at Sundance’s arm still
resting on the floor.
“Ok, time for bed. We will continue at dawn. I work best at
dawn. So get some sleep because I have a million questions for you to answer.
Remember to make love not war! Ha…. Peace brother!”
Sundance was not reluctant to the pull on his arm as he
followed immediately behind to Diana’s bedroom not even bothering to turn
around or smile or anything. He slammed the door behind them. Bang!
“Don’t even think about it”
Isabella
grumphed from behind her text book and added
“I need to study so find something else to do.”
Jake reached for his cigarettes, lit one. Grabbing his
tattered corduroy jacket, he easily slipped his arms through the sleeves in
almost one magical motion.
“I need some air now”
And eased through the door that he had come through just a
few hours earlier and was gone. He didn’t even notice the gentle rain.
Not looking up from her books Isabella said sweetly
“Ok, be careful. You’re not in Kansas anymore! Dreamer!”
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